


Among Revenge, Love and Other Things

by Of_Heaven_And_Hell



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Violence, Murphy never goes to the city of light, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 17:02:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5673706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_Heaven_And_Hell/pseuds/Of_Heaven_And_Hell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4 times Murphy thinks he loves Bellamy, </p><p> </p><p>+1 time that he actually does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Among Revenge, Love and Other Things

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I hope you like this, if you do please leave kudos and comment.

1: They have just finished taking off the 13th delinquent's bracelet when Bellamy drags him to the drop ship to celebrate, a cup of moonshine in his left hand and Murphy's own in his other. When they arrive, Bellamy drops his hand quickly but he is still standing a little too close to him. Murphy doesn't mind. When he is this close to the older boy- man, really- he can see his freckles. When he is this close, he can smell Bellamy's breath as it fans over his face. It isn't entirely pleasant, an odd mixture of undercooked meat, onions and moonshine but Murphy wouldn't want to smell anything else and he knows his own breath smells the same.

Murphy also knows that 13 bracelets is not a huge victory, but it sure as hell feels like it when Bellamy leans in even closer to him, whispering "I'm proud of you" into his ear.

No one has told him that in a long time.

Murphy doesn't know what love is yet but he thinks it could be this- a feeble trust intermingled with kisses and words given through a haze of moonshine (and only through a haze of moonshine). 

He is wrong.

 

2: The crate isn't underneath him like it was a second ago. His feet are thrashing and his hands are straining against their bonds. Still, all he can do is count how many times he pleaded with Bellamy to believe him and how many times he didn't. There are people, old friends, all around him who are already celebrating his death but all he can see are the looks of disgust that Bellamy is giving him. He doesn't dwell on them too much, he is busy replaying the betrayal in his head. His mind is filled with anguish and "I trusted you"s repeated over and over.

This feels a lot like the only love Murphy has ever known. It is mean and it hurts and it is nowhere near worth the effort.

Now, he is sure he is in love. He is sure Bellamy loves him (Bellamy has always reminded him so much of his mother).

 

3: For the first time in a long time, Murphy and Bellamy are alone in a room together. Murphy is tempted to move closer, to see if Bellamy smells like he used to, but he doesn't. 

He has a job to do.

He walks Bellamy through making the noose and he has him slip it around his own neck.

He suddenly thinks about how small the delinquent's chances of living would be if their King died and how much it would wound Octavia if he did. He is taken aback by how much he cares. He is taken aback by the realization that he can't do this.

Still, Murphy tells Bellamy the spiel he'd memorized in preparation for this moment. He tells him that he wants him to feel what he felt himself. He lets Bellamy believe that he is talking about the pain and humiliation; he doesn't correct him, tell him that he was referring to the heartache and betrayal. He tells Bellamy that he just wants him to die.

He is a fucking liar. 

He can't bring himself to live in a world without Bellamy so he stalls, drawls out his words and pauses when he doesn't need to.

It is only a couple of minutes later, filled with a backstory and insults meant only to impede, when they rescue Bellamy. Murphy is jumping out of a hole he made in the wall when he realizes that Bellamy wasted absolutely no time in trying to kill him.

"Yes, this is love." Murphy thinks to himself as he shoots Raven. The realization of Bellamy's, still intact, ability to kill him was all the ammunition that it took to do so. 

 

4: It is only a half an hour after they found the girl trapped on the mountain. Their fellow delinquent has just tumbled to his death. "Of course," Murphy mutters bitterly to himself when Bellamy volunteers to try next. He isn't really sure what else he expected out of Bellamy freaking Blake.

When the seatbelt breaks, Murphy envisions letting him go. But it all happens too quick and his body makes the decision for him.

He holds onto the rope and pulls harder than he ever has before. He almost cries when he thinks that he might be the reason Bellamy dies after all and his muscle-less body is screaming with the amount of effort it takes to hold both of them up. He doesn't know why he thinks that, but when Bellamy is finally hoisted up and they lock eyes, he cannot bring himself to regret it.

Murphy knows that he doesn't have a fucking clue what love is. A teeny, tiny part of him suspects that it could be this, though. The ability to forgive wrongs when they shouldn't be forgiven. The ability to save someone who condemned you, to give the person who held you at gunpoint a gun in order to calm their nerves.

 

5: Murphy's definition of love wasn't entirely wrong. But it is not until a year later that he realizes love is more than that. More tender, more strong, more carefree and yet more serious than that all at once.

They are sitting inside their room (one of the new additions to the camp) and Murphy's throbbing head is lying in Bellamy's lap. When Murphy first complained of the headache he'd half expected Bellamy to laugh at him or to tell him to suck it up, as his mother would of done. Instead he'd only nodded, shut off the lights and pulled Murphy to him. He had started humming, in a voice so low that it didn't hurt Murphy's head. Bellamy smelled much better now, like the soap that Monty makes- they all did really.

Right before Murphy drifts off, Bellamy leans down and whispers "I love you so much."

Murphy doesn't hesitate to say it back, mumbling an almost incoherent "I love you more." The words fall out of his mouth with a grace that would suggest that this isn't new territory, even though he's never said the phrase out loud to anyone since his father. But he isn't unsure when he says them, he knows what love is now.

It is trusting.

It is comforting words whispered, words that don't need moonshine to be said.

It is the feeling that Murphy gets when Bellamy yells at anyone who looks at him wrong.

It is the time when Murphy got stuck cleaning the patient's vomit (among other awful bodily functions) and Bellamy tried his hardest to get him a new job, even though Murphy told him not to.

It is also the time when none of the adults would let Bellamy switch Murphy's job, so Bellamy spent the next 2 months cleaning up the bowel movements right beside Murphy.

It is hope.

It is the warmth that spreads through Bellamy whenever another bit of Murphy's walls chips away.

It is the pressure of Bellamy's hand on Murphy's, how that pressure increases whenever a grounder walks by them.

It is patient.

It is the tears that rose to Murphy's eyes when Octavia first called him her brother (sure, it was in grounder language, but he'd take it).

It is not uncertain.

It does not bring up past wrongdoings.

It is Lincoln referring to Bellamy and Murphy as mates (and the kinky sex that sure as hell came after that).

It is everything that they have been fighting to gain.

It is love, and it is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to send any prompts to my tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/devotedlydecaffeinatedtyrant


End file.
